The witching hour or better known as the binging hour.
You know what I'm talking about. That time of the day where you need food in your life stat. The more calories the better.
You could have gone through the whole day turning down pastries from France, or chocolates from Paris but come the binging hour, you are scrambling through your cupboards trying to find anything that resembles something sweet... 3 year old lollypop anyone??
My binging hour is from 6 o'clock onwards. A time where my willpower seems to cease working. It is at this time of the afternoon where I hear this little voice in my head screaming at me to indulge!!
The only thing I can do to shut the bastard up, is to try and trick it by having a piece of fruit. This only works if I don't have anything to tempt me in the house because the truth is, if I was to open the fridge and there was a block of chocolate staring at me, well you know the rest of the story.
This is why we have absolutely NOTHING tempting in our house. That doesn't mean it works all the time though, who hasn't put the kids in the car for a corner store run and had to pay $5 more for a block of chocolate, then they would have at woolies? Who hasn't put the kids in the car and done a quick run to Maccas for an ice-cream sundae? Who hasn't put the kids in the car and driven to their parents house to raid their biscuit jar... (if my husband is reading this... then I am the person who has never done this.... ever)
During my journey I have read a lot of literature to find ways to help stop the binging hour. Here is a list of tips and tricks dieticians recommend to curb a sweet craving. Apparently these are the most popular.
Brush your teeth before eating.
This does not stop me at all, unless Im drinking orange juice, because tooth paste and Oj resembles the devils piss. But I do love mint flavoured things, so its a win win for me... clean teeth and peppermint flavoured chocolate.
Have you tasted hubba bubba? I could live off that sh*t...
Then there is the other brands of chewing gum that never really kick my cravings, they just annoy the absolute crap out of me when the flavour goes within 2 minutes of chewing! This is not a good thing, because when i'm annoyed I get hungry.
Hmm chewing gum, never ends well for me. (refer back to the time I had to get my hair cut like a boy when I fell asleep with some in my mouth, refer back to the time I sat on chewing gum at the movies and destroyed my favourite jeans, refer back to the time I blew a bubble and got chewing gum stuck in my eyebrows and my mum had to trim my eyebrow to get it out... sahhh hot!!)
Apparently a lot of the times you feel hungry, it's because your thirsty. Well when Im craving junk food, I can tell you its not because I'm thirsty its because I'm hungry. All drinking water does, is make me go to the toilet a thousand times during the night like I'm 6 months pregnant again!
Destress - breathing exercises, meditation, hot baths, yoga, gentle exercise or stretching.
This idea obviously came from someone without kids because all of the above would involve having a minute to yourself.
Just wait kids, mums about to Binge, so she is just going to have a hot bath.. oh you want to have a bath with me too..
Just wait kids mum is just going to meditate, oh you want to start performing the satanic screams of death to pierce the silence.
Just wait kids mum is going to do some breathing exercise, oh you need to get in my personal space and climb all over me because I'm seated in one spot.
Just wait kids mum is going to do some yoga, and yes that was a fart you heard.
Just wait kids mum is going to do some gentle exercising and stretching, oh you need to be involved in this exercise and then break into some street fighting between the two of you because someone accidentally kicked the other in the face.
Yeh aint nobody got time for that.
In the last 3 years I have found that the only way to win the battle against the binging hour is to make sure that I am eating enough during the day. It is so hard to have structured meal times when you are rushed off your feet at work but not eating, does me no favours.
I also need to make sure that I have "healthy" binge foods available. There are so many sugar free biscuits and deserts that you can indulge in without the guilt but the only problem is that they all need to be made from scratch. Once again, failure to prepare means preparing to fail.
I also find that the moment I get that urge to Binge, I need to immediately get the hell out of the kitchen and do something with the kids.
Firstly because being in their company is enough to turn anyone off eating (I kid)
Secondly, once my mind is occupied with something else then I forget that 2 minutes ago I needed something in my belly or I was going to die.
My cravings for sugary treats these days are very low but that does not mean that I still don't crave them. I do but mainly I just crave chips, cheese and nuts and ALWAYS at the witching hour though.
I still don't have an answer for the problem of me being a gigantic b*tch to my husband when I'm hungry... unlucky babe... very unlucky.
Heres treat to get you through the Witching Hour
I like an extra thick base and to be honest this base is so delicious that you could just eat it by itself or roll it up into bliss balls!
Once set, slice and enjoy
Christmas, my absolute favourite time of the year.
A time of where the mere mention of the name "Santa" can cause children to become model citizens and at the same time bring fear into their tiny little hearts.
Christmas is a huge deal in our family. We love Santa and the Chrismas story. However, we take time out of all things Christmassy, to acknowledge the birth of the one who thinks they are the centre of the universe. No, I am not talking about baby Jesus, I am talking about our 3 year old.
The one born exactly 2 weeks before Xmas Day. It could be worse, her actual due date was Christmas Eve. A birthday is a battle ground for those giving up sugar. However you can win the war, you just have to be prepared to the eyeballs. This being her second birthday sugar free, we had learnt from previous mistakes. Although things still went as well as they can, when the birthday girl is a sugar addict. Lets just leave it at that.
This was to be our third Christmas doing the sugar free thing and to be honest I just wasn't feeling it this year.
The previous year I was like a drill sergeant with what went into our mouths. This caused a lot of "come on its Christmas" comments. However I stood strong and made sure we weren't dunking our heads into the trifle and were steering clear of hidden sugar traps. To be honest, as a family, we did bloody good. Well everyone except the 2 year old who somehow got seated away from me (strategic move on her behalf, Im sure) and ate from a bowl of m&m's for the duration of our lunch. When I moved the said bowl of m&ms away from her, you would think I was the Grinch. The amount of hate I received from everyone feeling sorry for the whimpering mistreated brat, was ridiculous.
So this year (well actually last year to be exact) I decided that this Christmas I was going to be really relaxed. Not crazy relaxed but mature, we can handle this relaxed.
I was going to enjoy everything in front of me in moderation and also with the condition that I didn't start snorting icing sugar and shooting up trifle custard.
We started the day with breakfast at my parents and holy mother of all things breakfast, can my mum put on a spread. It looked like something out of a magazine and to be honest the only thing sugar laden was the iced coffee, and that only came from the ice-cream. Therefore, it technically wasn't even that bad. Alas it was too sweet for me, so I only had half a glass but I bloody enjoyed that half a glass.
At lunch once again the only thing on my plate that had sugar, was the apple sauce and it wasn't like I was bathing my meat in it. I was ticking boxes and so were the kids.
However the 8 year old was getting punch drunk on ginger-ale, lemonade and fruit juice. Declaring it to be the best drink he has ever had in his life and the 3 year old was just as bad demanding that her sippy cup be filled to the brim with the christmas beverage of the Gods.
I couldn't judge them because here I was sipping back on my Canadian Crisps (which for the record has reduced sugar ) but isn't sugar free.
We were all happy, getting merry and no one was giving me the stink eye for making my children miss out on sugar.
Dessert rolled around and this year, I was not missing out on my Nan's plum pudding. This Plum Pudding is hands down A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! What makes it even better, is that it comes from a a secret recipe of my Nan's. To me, Christmas is Nan's plum pudding. Fullstop. That is where my Christmas feels come from.
For the last 3 years, I had made myself miss out on this plum pudding and emotionally and mentally, it didn't sit well with me.
Since my Nans passing, it has had even more meaning to me and seeing the amount of love my Mum and Aunties put into it, makes it even more special.
After filling my heart and belly with a serving of plum pudding, I had that feeling, like a warm hug or coming home when you have been away. It just felt right.
I excitedly tried to tell the kids the back story of the pudding and how important it was to our family and couldn't wait for them to taste it. Well apparently it tasted like fruit and according to the 8 year olds face arsenic. But the fact I could allow myself to not feel guilty about this splurge, made it feel even better.
Now you might be thinking, yeh I get it, the message is everything in moderation, that you can have sugar now and then...
No thats not the message...
Well yeh I guess it could be the message and it should have been the message BUT NO not for me.....
My body decided to give me another message.
A message that you wouldn't find in a hall mark card or a happily ever after story.
My message, went something like, " you want to eat sugar.... sure have it in moderation... but let me give you something in return"
No joke 2 days after Christmas my skin was like that of a 13 year old going through puberty and the best part was, it was basically an advertisement on my face screaming "I ATE SUGAR" I swear to God, that I'm not even joking, I had about 5 people say to me "Have you been eating sugar"... No Martha, I haven't been eating sugar, I'm going through puberty at 34 you stupid a$$....
My husband was the first to point it out "Holy sh$t Jess, your skin is breaking out, have you been eating sugar???
Then my mum "Jess your skin looks really red and agitated," This was her being too polite to say you have a breakout on your cheeks.
Then the 8 year old said "You have pimples from drinking beer".. well actually Mr Know it all, it was scotch, so shove it.
My favourite was a friend of mine who used this little gem "I thought you weren't having sugar anymore". So I said "why would you think I was having sugar" and she said "No reason". I said "well there is obviously a reason??" She said "your skin looks sh$t"... Yes, yes it does.
I felt absolutely robbed that I had one splurge day and my body punished me like that. Thanks a lot body....
Of course I then did the stupid thing of painting my face with foundation to cover it, which in turn lead to even worse breakouts.
Nothing makes you feel more self conscious then pimples deciding to have a party on your face. At this age I'm meant to be getting wrinkles, not bloody pimples.
I would like to say that my body taught me a lesson, however then I would be lying. We all know that New Years Eve is a week after Christmas and you can't bring in the New Year with Scotch and soda water, that would be redonkulous.
Nice try body, nice try.
TUESDAY AFTERNOON PICK ME UP
4 cups of popcorn (obviously already popped)
1/2 cup sliced almonds
1/2 cup crushed macadamia nuts
1/4 cup of shredded coconut
30ml/60mls Rice Malt Syrup (depending on your liking)
1 cup Dextrose
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 - Place Rice malt syrup, Dextrose, butter and vanilla in a large saucepan and stir until dextrose is dissolved.
2 - Drop the heat to low and let it sit there without touching it for 6min (should go golden colour)
3 - Have a pan ready with baking paper lining the bottom
4 - Take off heat and stir in nuts, popcorn and coconut
5 - Place into tray
6 - Let set in the fridge
7 - Break off chunks and enjoy
Welcome to my new site!!!
For those of you who have continued to follow me from www.thebigmum.com I just want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my little black heart.
For those of you looking for a sugar mumma, get the fructose out of here now.
No seriously back away from the computer.
I repeat there is nothing for you here, unless you are hoping to impress someone with wicked fructose free recipes and in turn they decide to pile you with gifts and money, well then you can stay. But otherwise I will fly kick a nigerian prince wanna be in the baby maker.
For those of you who just happened to find this site and are thinking "what the hell type of website is this" Please click on this link WHY IM NOT CRAY CRAY which will explain everything.
So here we are.. I still can't believe it has come to this, but lets embrace the change and not even think about the fact we are paying for 2 domain names... Thanks Nigerian princes..... you a$$holes.
Maybe I should start spamming every single one of them, asking them to pay for my domain sites. They can be my sugar da---- and I'm now vomiting in my mouth a little.
This year will mark 3 years of being on our sugar free journey! 3 years that I will never get back. 3 years of missed jars of nutella, cherry ripes, full strength coke in my scotches. 3 years of having to perform exorcisms on the baby of the family, as she places satanic curses on us for not letting her get a bloody kinder surprise egg. 3 years of the 8 year old having to be tortured with the choice of A) water or B) water when he wants a drink (please pray for him).
3 years of going out drinking and asking for soda water with my vodka or scotch and being given that look of disgust.
3 years of bringing our own dishes to parties and saying "no" when the birthday cake is being passed around at work.
3 years of explaining why my kids are being forced to go on a "diet".
3 years to perfect my cooking (yeh it actually took a good 2 years before I didn't have to feed the dog before the kids incase I killed them).
Then there is:
3 years of being 16kg lighter, 3 years of having clear skin, 3 years of not looking like I was 3 months pregnant, 3 years of having energy.
Every journey has its ups and downs and ours has had quite a few downs that have led to some amazing highs. Wheres the fun in an easy ride (hmm probably a lot of fun)
The point of this blog is to keep me accountable and to share my journey with those I know and those I don't.
When I started, the only blogs I could find were from people who looked like they walked off the cover off Vogue magazine and there food photos looked like they were from some 5 Star Restaurant. Everything was easy and amazing and the kids loved not being able to have sugar, it was there favourite thing to do...
Every recipe they posted had multiple comments of "this is amazing, our whole family loved it" and having an unlimited grocery budget was a given.
I couldn't connect to anything I read.
Firstly I didn't get a modelling contract within a week of quitting sugar (yeh bullish*t I know).
Secondly my photos looked like a drunk hobo spewed on a dinner plate.
Thirdly my kids were being complete a$$holes about not being able to have lemonade and chocolate and in turn this was turning me into an even bigger a$$hole (my husband can vouch for this)
Fourthly the recipes were not amazing! Some of them tasted like sh*t and when I went to comment that this recipe was so called "sh*t" I realised that they approved comments before posting and my comment was not going to make the cut.
And lastly, I couldn't afford 10 dollars for 2 avocados, or create a meal with 100 dollars worth of ingredients. It didn't take a genius to know that the 2 year old would turn her nose up at whatever was served and the 8 year old would taste test and then perform some dramatic academy award winning display of how much pain, that one mouth full had caused him.
I wanted people to be able to see that real people give up sugar and real people can make it work. Yes it might not look as magical as I wished but that is what made it an adventure. One that sometimes I wish didn't involve so much complaining, but one that will hopefully reap the benefits in the future.
For those just starting this journey, I wish you all the luck in the world. You are stronger then you think, and yes you really can go without chocolate and no I'm not lying to you.
I leave you with a favourite of the family. One that for the last 3 years has been a staple in the kids lunch boxes and is pretty much impossible to stuff up. (Unless your oven is a complete jerk and burns the bum off them.... yes my oven, this is directed at you).
250gm plain flour
100gm dextrose plus extra to coat
140gm of butter or MORE if its not sticking together when you go to combine
1 tsp baking powder
1 Preheat oven to 180 degrees and line a baking tray with baking paper and set aside
2 Place flour, dextrose, butter. egg and baking powder into a mixing bowl and mix until crumbly and well combined (add more butter if needed)
3 Place additional dextrose onto a plate and pinch together 1 tbsp of dough and roll into a small ball OR more if you like bigger biscuits
4 Flatten out and use a cookie cutter to make a shape or put the ball on the tray and push down with a fork creating a round biscuit
5 Bake for 20min or until light and golden
6 Allow to cool on a wire rack.
Enjoy and thank you for supporting my new website!!